If Morning Never Brings Salvation
by tthenoblewarr
Summary: He knows about leaving and about the things that people do when they're on the run. That's why she had asked him to help her get away. She knew of no one else that knew the things he did. Lit.
1. I've Got My Life In A Suitcase

**A/N:** This is my first Literati/Gilmore Girls fic ever. Criticism is welcome.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. If I owned, Jess and Rory never would've separated.

* * *

1:37am.

That's the time he heard the tiny pebbles hitting the window closest to him. Groggy but curious, he made his way over to it, wanting to know who was the source of the noise.

"Rory?" he questioned incredulously, looking down from the window. His voice came in a harsh whisper, careful not to wake his uncle. "What the hell? Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"My mom's working late at the inn. I didn't know where else to go," she spoke shakily. It was pouring and Jess couldn't figure out for the life of him why she felt the need to run all the way to the diner to talk to him. It couldn't wait until morning? She was soaked and he swore he saw her shiver.

"Hang on," he said, slightly annoyed but never mad. Not at her. Doing his best to be quick, he threw a pair of dark wash jeans over his boxers and secured them loosely on his hips with a belt. Her grabbed a black hoodie, not wanting to go anywhere in just his white beater. Still trying to hurry, he grabbed his keys and jotted down a sloppy note to Luke.

_Out. Be back later._

_Jess_

Cryptic as always.

He jogged down the stairs, through the diner, and finally outside. She was just standing there in what looked like her pajamas; shorts and a simple tank top. She even had on her fuzzy slippers which had seemed to lose their fuzziness with the rain. He couldn't help but notice how small she looked.

"Rory," he said, not really wanting to walk into the downpour, but doing so anyway. "What are you doing here?" She looked at him then and he couldn't tell if her running makeup was from the rain or from her crying. But her eyes didn't look red or puffy and he silently hoped that everything was alright with her.

"I didn't know where else to go," she repeated, looking back down at the concrete.

He raised his hands almost as if he was going to rest them on arms, make her look at him again. But he didn't. He never knew what to do in situations like these. "You said that already," was all he could manage to tell her.

"Teach me," she muttered suddenly.

Jess was confused and it was evident by the way his eyebrows shifted. "What?"

She looked at him again, almost becoming frantic but managing to keep herself calm.

"Teach-," she spoke, cutting herself off; trying to find the right words. "Teach me how to not care. Teach me how to leave."

He couldn't figure out what was going. He wasn't sure that she knew what she was saying. He just wanted to get her some place warm; some place out of the rain. He had to get her back home.

Putting his hand on the small of her back, he could feel how cold she was, felt the small shivers that weren't apparent until he touched her. "Come on," he said, guiding her towards his car. "Let's get you dry."

He was expecting her to protest, but she didn't. It was odd to him how defeated she looked.

The drive to the Gilmore household was longer than he remembered it being. But they eventually made it to the front door. "Do you have your keys?"

"There's a spare under the turtle," she said, her voice void of any emotion. Jess wasn't used to this and it irked him to see her this way and not know what was wrong.

He bent down, picked up the ceramic turtle and found the spare key. An instant rush of warm air greeted them upon entering the threshold. Once inside, he looked down at himself and saw a puddle of rain water pooling at his feet. "Where are your towels?"

She didn't answer him. She just stood there in some sort of haze. He sighed in frustration and grabbed her hand, pulling her into the bathroom with him. "What are you doing," she finally asked.

"Trying to keep you from getting sick. How long were you there?"

"Behind the door."

"What?" Jess asked.

"The towels," she stated simply. "They're behind the door."

A tossed one towards her. "Dry off." And with that he began to leave the bathroom, careful not to slip on any of the water they had brought in with them.

Rory stood up suddenly, following him. "Wait! I don't want to be here."

"What the hell is going on, Rory?" He turned to face her, now standing the hallway.

"Let's leave," she said, suddenly gaining some her energy back, the haze evidently gone. "I don't want to be in Stars Hallow any more."

"Are you crazy? Rory, this isn't like you."

"Help me and I'll tell you everything." When Jess just stood there, she added silently, "Please."

He wasn't sure what was going on, wasn't sure he exactly wanted to know. "People are going to wonder where you went. When both of us aren't here tomorrow morning, they're going to suspect things."

"Jess, you don't understand," she said, doing her best to stay calm. It felt like the walls were closing in on her. "I promise, I'll explain everything, but right now I just-"

"Just what, Rory?" he said a little angrier than he intended.

"I just need to get out! I figured you, out of everyone, would understand."

"Understand? Rory, I don't even know what's going on!"

"I told you. Get me out of here and I'll explain everything," she told him sadly.

He contemplated this, wondering what could've happened that was so bad, so disastrous, that would make her want to run away. He knew things about leaving and about the things people do when they're on the run. That's why she had come to him.

"Pack a bag," he said sternly, not believing he had said it. She scurried to her room and emerged not five minutes later, bag of clothes and other necessities in hand. "Not so fast," he warned her.

She gave him a look that expressed her confusion. "You're soaked. Let's get you into something more conservative and more...dry."

He wasn't entirely sure what he was doing. Yeah, he liked the girl. But it wasn't like he was willing to say it out loud or anything. And taking her away from her home? All the trouble he could get into? All the trouble he could be getting _her_ into?

But he hated seeing her so detached. And that's why he agreed. Amidst his thoughts, he saw her emerged once again from her room, but this time with clean clothes. "What about you?" she asked him from inside the bathroom, changing into jeans and a simple black t-shirt.

"What about me?"

"Your clothes are soaked too."

"We'll stop by the diner again."

She opened the door and stared at him again. He stared back, doing his best to figure out what was going on with her. Instead of asking again, he simply picked up her bag and said, "Let's go."


	2. You Can Rest Easy Tonight

**A/N:** I was informed that I should probably make the timeline of this clear. Sorry about that, guys :] I didn't really want to give out an exact time for this story to take place seeing as that I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with it quite yet. This story was pretty much spur of the moment and, while I had an initial plan, the bigger plot has yet to be completely thought out. I know that probably sounds horrible, but I sometimes I get a little bit of inspiration and need to write. This just happened to be an outcome of that. So basically, the timeline is still up in the air. I'm sure with more chapters it will become a little more obvious. Again, I apologize :] I'm hoping that that doesn't bother too many of you or make this hard to interpret.

Also, the feedback has been great so far. Thank you guys so much. Like I said, any and all forms of criticism are welcome. If you guys have any plot lines that you'd like to see, message me or something so we can talk about it. I'd love to bounce ideas off of some of you as well [maybe you can help me figure out where I want to go with this?]. This is as much your story as it is mine.

I will do my best to updated every day, if not, every other. No promises though. I've got three AP classes this quarter and they've all been kicking my ass. Ha.

Last, but not least, please forgive any grammatical errors and typos. I try to reread over my writing twice before I post it, but I get so anxious that I miss a few things.

**Disclaimer:** Like stated before, I own nothing.

* * *

Jess drove tentatively having a silent debate in his head over whether or not what he was doing was right. He wasn't sure where they'd go and he still didn't know what had happened, but he decided to figure that out once they were out of Stars Hollow. He glanced at the girl sitting next to him and wondered what she was thinking about as she stared out the car window, mesmerized by the downpour outside.

The car came to a stop and Jess took the keys out of the ignition. "Come on," he said, not wanting to leave her in the car by herself. "Wait in the diner. I'll be back downstairs in a few." He jogged to the door, unlocked it, and held it open while she walked through. His shoes squeaked as he made his way up the stairs to the apartment and Rory found herself praying that Luke would remain asleep; never knowing about the night's events.

Jess was true to his word and returned merely three minutes later with dry clothes, a small duffle bag in hand and a wad of cash in his back pocket. He led the way back into the car and once inside asked, "Where do you want to go?"

He watched her carefully, scrutinizing her every move. But she never gave up any hints as to how she was feeling. "I don't know. I don't care," was all she said.

"Okay." Jess wasn't a man of many words. And when he did waste his energy on speaking, it was usually to throw out a sarcastic comment or a snide insult. He was treading in uncharted territory when it came to Rory. He never had it in him to be the asshole he was to everyone else. And he was never sure why that was.

They drove in silence for awhile, their usual banter disregarded until Rory finally spoke up.

"You're eighteen."

He gave her a somewhat quizzical look. "I know."

"I'm seventeen."

Finally understanding where she was going with this, he sighed heavily. "I know," he repeated. She was a minor. He wasn't. If they got caught…

"I'm hungry," she stated, making him lose his train of thought.

"That's a surprise," he muttered sarcastically under his breath. "Can it wait until we get to wherever the hell we're going?"

She shifted in her seat, her eyes all of a sudden feeling heavy. "I guess."

Their conversations were choppy and short and Jess didn't like it one bit. Every minute that passed, he grew more and more impatient. He was a curious person, though he was often secretive about it. Again, he was about to push Rory to tell him what had happened, but when he looked over to the passenger seat, he found her fast asleep. He sighed and turned the radio on letting _The Verve Pipe's _'Freshmen' fill the silence of the car. He yawned and kept a mental note to keep an eye out for a cheap motel. They were only a few cities over. He had never planned to take her very far, figuring she would want to turn around and go home once they got to their destination, wherever that may be.

It took only about five minutes to find an exit sign that promised a decent motel. He parked outside of their home for the night, exiting the car, careful not to close the door too loudly in fear of waking Rory. He paid and got the room key hoping for two bedrooms, but silently praying for only one.

He mentally hit himself though the second the thought cascaded into his mind. _Thinking of that at a time like this_, he thought to himself. _I know you're a hormonal teenager, but come on, Jess._ But then he scolded himself again for allowing her to change him. If it were any other girl, Jess wouldn't have cared that he was having these less than pure thoughts. And the battle in his head continued until he pulled into a parking space right in front of their room.

He wasn't sure if he should wake her or not, but he soon realized that he wouldn't have to. She awoke herself, confused with her surroundings.

"Where are we?"

"Don't worry about it," he said tiredly. "I got us a motel for the night." He got out of the car, but she just sat there, unsure of what to do. She felt a cool breeze as he opened up the passenger side door so she could get out. He grabbed the two of their bags and made his way to the door, unlocking it and walking in. He thought she was right behind him and was shocked to find her still waiting in the car.

"Rory," he said, setting the bags down and walking back outside. He squatted down next to her, the car door still wide open. "Come inside," he said softly in a monotone voice. "It's late. You need some rest."

She looked at him with her eyes glazed over as if in a haze, like she was with him physically but mentally she was elsewhere. He told himself to remember that look for future reference.

"How do you do it?" she asked him innocently, still showing no sign of getting out of the car.

Jess stood up and hoisted her out of her seat, one hand in the crease behind her knees and the other around her back. He thought he could feel her tense up at his touch, but the feeling was fleeting and left as fast at it had come. "Do what?" he questioned back, using his foot to slam the car door closed.

"I wish I could be more like you," the girl in his arms mused quietly.

With her head nestled in the crook of his neck, she could feel his jaw clench and then slowly relax. "No. You don't."

Upon entering their room, she told him, "I can walk just fine, you know."

"Whatever you say, Miss Gilmore." He let go of her legs suddenly and she held onto his neck for fear that she'd fall flat on her ass. She looked at him and all he had to give her was a tight, unamused smile. He could only take so much in one sleep deprived night. "Now what were you saying?"

"Nothing," she told him in annoyance, rummaging through her bag for a toothbrush and her pajamas. "How long do think it'll take them to figure out we're gone?"

"I don't know."

"Do you think they'll worry?"

"I don't know," he said again.

"Will Luke be mad?"

"Look," he said, obviously frustrated. "I don't know what's going to happen, okay? You asked me to get you out of Stars Hallow and I did. But I swear to God, Rory, if you're having doubts about this, you need to tell me now so I can get you back before any unnecessary trouble fires up. I mean, what did you think would happen?"

She sat down on the bed, taking in what he had just said. "It was all kind of spur of the moment. I guess I didn't really think it through…" she drifted off.

"I'm taking you back home," he affirmed.

"No!" Rory jumped up. "I can't go back there. Not after…" She stopped herself, not wanting to go any further.

Jess sighed in frustration. "You're going to have to tell me sooner or later."

"I know," she whispered. A few moments of silence passed before she got up and walked to the bathroom to change and brush her teeth.

Jess scanned the room, taking note that there was only bed and wasn't exactly sure what to do about that. He didn't want to be the kind of guy that would take advantage of her. He was still deciphering his feelings for her when he heard the bathroom door open. She walked out in red plaid pajama pants and a thin camisole. "Bathroom's open," she told him.

He did exactly as she had, changing into a pair of grey sweats and a white t-shirt. He usually slept in just his boxers, but he figured something less revealing would be more appropriate tonight. He brushed his teeth quickly and walked back into the main room to find Rory on one side of the bed, seemingly asleep.

He grabbed the two pillows from the other side of the bed and attempted to form himself a makeshift bed on the floor. But Rory's voice stopped him.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting ready for bed," he told her continuing his work.

"Jess…" she spoke softly.

"Mmhmm," he mumbled.

"Stop. The floor won't be very comfortable."

He looked at her and wanted to know what she up to; whether it was simply innocent and that she was concerned for his wellbeing or if it was more a trick and that she was testing him. "The floor will be fine," he commented stubbornly.

"Jess," she said again, this time reaching her hand out to stop him. She grabbed his arm to get his attention and when porcelain met olive she realized she never knew how toned he was. Not wanting to seem distracted, she said, "Jess, stop it. I don't want to sleep alone." And then she said it again. "Please."

He couldn't deny her. "Okay," was his simple response.

She moved over and felt the bed shift against his weight. He turned off the lamp on the nightstand and the room fell into a peaceful darkness.

Rory sighed in relief and turned her back to him. Even though she knew he was there, she still felt a little alone. So she shifted a little until she could feel her back against his chest. She could feel his breath hitch in surprise at the contact, but a second later she could also feel his arm hesitantly snake its way around her waist as if he wasn't sure if he should or not. To show her approval, she snuggled closer to him and began to drift out of consciousness.


	3. Because All Suffering Is Sweet To Me

**A/N:** A big thank you goes out to all of you who continue to review and feed the fire. And an even bigger thanks goes out to silverhelix428 for all the insight and opinions. It's been very helpful, as have the rest of everybody's comments :]

I'm trying to keep this story away from the cheesy side but sometimes it gets the best of me. The words don' t come out exactly as I'd hoped and it ends up sounding overdone. I hope that isn't the case here. The one thing I hate about writing is that when there's dialogue, sometimes its hard to figure out how it should sound; the tone of the person's voice or the emotion that they put into it when it's read instead of expressed verbally. I'm doing my best to keep it all as straightforward as possible.

I still encourage you to bounce possible plot lines off of me. If you've got an idea you'd like to see typed out for this story, please let me know. I need to figure out what direction I want this story to go in and I need to figure out soon. Ha :]

Thank you.

Always.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

* * *

The night always manages to have an odd effect on people. A kind of magic, if you will. Maybe it's the mental protection of the darkness that clouds people's judgment. Maybe it's the influence of fatigue pressing further than it should, allowing untold stories to be confessed out loud. Either way, individuals tend to get rather blatantly honest during the hours when dusk takes over. As they say, what was so simple in the moonlight by the morning never is.

This situation would be no different.

Jess awoke expecting to see the bright rays of sun blinding his vision, but instead was shocked to discover that the sun wasn't what was impairing his vision. The moon was still up, but the shadows were still everywhere. A small whimper to his left caught his attention and he turned to face Rory, becoming all too aware of the apparent nightmare she seemed to immersed in.

"Rory." Her name came out barely above a whisper. He wasn't sure whether or not to wake her. Jess hated this; not knowing how to act and not being able to act the only way he knew how. He was a cynical asshole most of the time. Granted, he never got too carried away with all of his bullshit, but he was never one to take care of anyone but himself. This was new to him.

She stirred once again, a small tremor making its way through her small frame. His arm was no longer around her and he assumed it hadn't been for a while. Now placing it gently on her shoulder, he glanced at the green numbers the digital clock presented on the table beside him (4:43am). He didn't want to wake her, but he also didn't want her to go through any other unnecessary discomfort.

"Rory," he whispered again, a little louder this time.

Nothing.

He could feel a thin sheet of cold sweat blanket her body and wondered if she had gotten sick from the rain. And just like that, her whimpers grew slightly louder and the tremors harsher.

Beginning to get slightly worried, he sat up finally making the decision to wake her. "Ror, wake up," he said, shaking her shoulder gently. She flinched away from the contact of his hand on her, her dream continuing. Her breath hitched and she began to pant frantically, whispering a soft, "No," over and over again.

"Rory!" Jess said, louder this time. She began to thrash slightly, not excessively violent, but enough to leave Jess in minor panic. He reached over and grabbed her other shoulder, not wanting her to hurt herself in her nightmare-induced slumber. "Rory, you've got to wake up," he told her, still not getting his desired response.

"Rory!"

She awoke with a start, forgetting where she was. Feeling the weight of another person holding her down, she began to struggle against Jess's grip on her, not waiting for her eyes to adjust so she could make out his form. He could tell she was scared and he didn't want to be the one she was afraid of.

"Hey," he scolded. "It's me! Rory!" She kept trying to get his hands off of her, still unaware of her surroundings. "Rory, it's Jess! Will you knock it off?"

Hearing his name, she stopped suddenly. "Jeez," he said, letting go of her and sitting up again. She sat up with him, in a bit of a daze, still attempting to figure out where she was and how she got there. "Mission accomplished. You've officially freaked me out."

Rory stared at him for a second before springing off the bed and rushing into the bathroom. "Rory, wait! I didn't-" He saw her disappear behind the door and heard it slam less than a second later. _Great_, he thought. _And now I've officially freaked her out too_.

Immediately after entering the bathroom, Rory started up shower. She felt the strange urge to rid herself of the things that had unfolded behind her closed eyes and decided that literally scrubbing herself clean was the best remedy for that. She stripped down as fast as she could and practically bounded into the shower, needing to feel the warmth of the water wash away the cold sweat on her skin.

And once she was sure Jess couldn't hear her, she sank down at the far end of the tub, pulled her knees to her chest, and cried.

On the other side of the door, Jess was trying to figure out what had just happened. This entire night was becoming too much for him to handle and the sexual tension that was building up inside of him was becoming a bit unbearable as well.

With that thought he pondered on his relationship with Rory; on why she had come to him instead of her boyfriend. It was then that he realized that some of the most interesting relationships are between people who are attracted to each other, but can't act on it. Life was unfair that way; timing things all wrong. Fate was a tricky thing to mess with, but Jess was never one to follow by the rules.

Twenty minutes passed and the running water could still be heard from outside the bathroom. Worry overcame him for what seemed like the millionth time that night and he arose from the bed, turned on the light switch and took hurried strides to reach the bathroom door.

He knocked on it with the back of his hand; the knuckle of his middle finger creating the rap on the door. "Rory?" he questioned. "You okay?"

But she obviously wasn't one for much talking tonight, a thought that worried him even more. "I'm coming in if you don't open this door in ten seconds," he warned. Again, the Devil and God raged inside of him; one telling him to open up to his lustful desires, the other tempting him to close them off. He never went to church but he knew the stories well enough to know that saints were sinners too; everyone has a dark side.

But he pushed that thought aside as he got to ten and opened the door, willing himself to behave.

The small space was steamy and humid, the result of the hot water being left on too long. "Talk to me," he told her, his voice even and never faltering. He sat down next to the tub with his back resting on it and his knees pulled up slightly so he could rest his elbows on them, waiting for her response.

It never came.

So he continued. "I'm not sure what to do in situations like these, you know. I'm usually not the one people run to in a time of need," he choked out a small laugh. "And when they do I…I usually don't…" he sighed. "I usually don't do anything about it."

He paused, waiting her her to speak. But the room was still bathed in silence.

"It all means so much to you doesn't it? Life. You just live a bit harder than everybody else does. You splash about. You wallow in it. Like you can't lose a moment," he mused, lost in thought. "I wish I knew how to do that. You know, express the raw emotion that you do. I'd deny it any other day, but..."

As he was having what was probably his only moment of pure honesty, he could hear her mumbling something over the sound of the rushing water. And a tiny piece of that wall he had just let fall rebuilt itself.

"'…_I am not sad_, he would repeat to himself over and over, _I am not sad_. As if he might one day convince himself. Or fool himself. Or convince others- the only thing worse than being sad was for others to know that you are sad…'"

He vaguely remembered the text that she was reciting, although he couldn't quite place where. His eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he tried to focus on her words.

"'…_I am not sad. I am not sad._ Because his life had unlimited potential for happiness, insofar as it was an empty white room. He would fall asleep with his heart at the foot of his bed, like some domesticated animal that was no part of him at all. And each morning he would wake with it again in the cupboard of his ribcage, having become a little heavier, a little weaker, but still pumping…'"

He began to speak up with her, finally recognizing the excerpt and sparing a moment to wonder why she had read something so recent when she usually focused her attention on the classics.

"'…And by midafternoon he was again overcome with the desire to be somewhere else, someone else, someone else somewhere else. _I am not sad…_'"

Silence occupied the room save for the ever persistent hum of the shower. "_Everything Is Illuminated_," Jess mused. "Jonathan Safran Foer."

Again, only more silence followed.

He sighed once more, growing a little impatient, but not wanting her to feel like he was angry at her. Because he wasn't. He was just…tired.

"Come back to bed, Rory."

Silence.

A choked sob.

A gasp for air.

"Ror?"

Nothing.

He wasn't sure what to do. Again. The repetition of the night's events and emotions was beginning to piss him off.

"I'm opening up this curtain if you don't come out."

Hearing no protest, he got up from where he was sitting and grabbed a towel from the rack to his right. Without looking at her, he pulled back the curtain on the side opposite from her so he could stop the running water. He could see her curled up form out of the corner of his eye and did his best to avert any direct eye contact, but he noticed that she was shivering again.

Taking the one step to the other side of the tub, he slowly pushed the curtain back and spread the towel out in front of him; a signal for her to stand up and wrap herself in it. He turned his head to the side, trying to be as polite as possible but finding it extremely difficult to stay focused on behaving.

He swallowed hard when he saw her stand up and felt her take the towel from his grasp, wrapping it around her frail body. "I'll go get your bag," he told her, not once glancing her way for fear that he'd jump her right there.

He returned within moments and she was already towel drying her hair with a smaller cloth than the one around her. No words were exchanged, but she glanced at him, their eyes connecting for a moment or two; her sad ones timidly expressing the gratitude she knew he deserved and his curious ones illustrating a subtle hint of lust tinged with concern. And that was all the conversation that they needed.

Jess left the room and walked back to the bed, propping up a pillow on the headboard. He laid down with his head propped up on the pillow, putting an arm beneath it as well. He was determined to stay awake until Rory made her way back to the bed, but he quickly succumbed to the slumber that was tugging at every part of his body.

He was in that place between sleep and awake when he heard the light switch off and felt her crawl under the covers, joining him. She wasn't hesitant to connect her body to his, laying with the majority of the top half of her body on his chest. Shocked, he took his arm out from under his head. Not entirely sure of what to do next, he placed that same hand on her hip and kissed the top of her head, letting her know that he was there; that he wasn't going anywhere. She shivered. He began to rub soothing circles with his thumb over the cloth that protected the skin on her hip.

"Oh, my God," she whispered. "What is wrong with me?"

"Nothing," he told her, just as quiet. "Nothing…"

"I'm sick of always having to be perfect all the time." She was exhausted; her voice gave that away. He had to listen extra carefully to figure out what she was mumbling.

"Nodody's asking you to be," was his monotone response.

Exhaustion caught up with both of them around that exact moment and before they knew it, sleep was claiming them both yet again.


	4. Until You Decide To Wake Up

**A/N:** My apologies for the lack of a chapter yesterday. I made a promise I couldn't keep when I said I' get a chapter up every day. I don't think I'll be able to do that, but I will do my best to get updates in as often as possible.

As always, thank you for all of your gracious reviews. And let me know if I'm doing a poor job here. Criticism is always helpful.

Excuse any grammatical errors and typos.

I'm attempting to keep this short this time. So I'll end it here.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

* * *

Morning chased away the night and just like that, it was understood between the two figures in the motel bed that the events of the previous night would not be discussed.

Jess awoke first, bringing his hands to his eyes in an attempt to rub away the sleepiness. Realizing that their positions had not changed throughout the night, he become immediately concerned. Even though he could control his body during consciousness, it didn't mean that he could control it while he slept. Taking a quick peak over Rory's head to catch a glimpse of the length of his body, he breathed a sigh of relief. _Thank God_, he thought blissfully. _One less problem to worry about today._

But it wasn't the embarrassment of that situation that would've had him worried.

The heavier rise and fall of his chest, however, roused Rory from her sleep. She brought her hand to her forehead, brushing any stray hairs away from her face.

"Hey," Jess said in his ever monotone voice. For a split second, Rory allowed herself to take in the soothing melody his groggy voice provided.

"Hey," she repeated back to him, feeling slightly self-conscious as she disentangled her torso from his. She sat up and rested her back against the headboard, not entirely enjoying the silence that encompassed them. "I'm going to go, uh, wash up," she told him a little uncomfortably.

"Take your time," was all he said in return as she stepped out of the bed. The floor met her toes and vertigo greeted her mind, blurring her vision for a few unwanted seconds. And as soon as Jess saw that bathroom door close, he threw the covers off of him and quickly made his way to the phone on the nightstand. He'd made the decision last night and had been waiting for the opportune moment to go through with it.

He punched in the familiar number and was shocked when Luke picked up on the first ring.

"Jess?," came his uncle's questioning voice. "Jess, if that's you-"

"Hey, Uncle Luke," Jess interrupted, a sly smirk playing on the corner of his lips at Luke's obvious unease.

"What'd you do with Rory?" The accusation came immediately. Jess had expected it, but was still a bit put off by the viciousness in Luke's voice.

"Why, good morning to you, too, starshine," he said with amusement. He overheard Kirk make a complaint involving too much ketchup somewhere in the background. "The diner doin' okay this morning, chief?"

"Bring her back home, Jess," Luke warned.

Again, another voice rose up from the background in the diner. "He's got, Rory? I swear to God, if that son of a bitch touches her-"

"Whoa. Hey there. That wouldn't happen to be the Jolly Green Giant, now would it?"

Luke continued on as if Jess's remark had never been made. "Lorelei's been freaking out all over the place. Most people hit the bottle when they're upset. Lorelei? No, she goes straight for the coffee. She even-"

"Is she okay?" came Dean's voice again, followed by a few choice words spoken angrily by Luke signaling that Dean had taken control of the phone.

"She's just peachy keen. All unicorns and rainbows, actually."

"Get her back home, Jess." Dean's voice was low, threatening.

"So good, in fact, that after I got into her bed last night, she let me try this new thing out where-"

"Jess…" Jess could tell Dean was anything but amused and that was all the fuel he needed.

"Does she let you do any of that kinky shit or is all just-"

"Jess!"

_Mission accomplished_, Jess thought triumphantly. "Oooo," he mused. "Well, aren't we a bit touchy."

"Tell me where she is," Dean fumed.

"Hmm. Tempting, but, you know, I think I'll pass. All apologies, bag boy. Put Luke on the phone."

Jess heard the small pause as Dean had his own inner battle about what to do. But the sound of Luke's voice assured Jess of his final decision.

"What'd you do, Jess?"

"Hey, I take offense to that. Why is everything always my fault?" he said comically.

"Because it usually is." Luke was getting more than annoyed and it was evident in his tone, the deadpan proving his irritation.

Again, Jess smirked at his uncanny ability to get under everyone's skin. "Touché. We're at a small motel in Danbury just off of I-84. I'm bringing her back home tonight. Tell everyone to quit worrying already. Jeez," he laughed out. "Later, Luke." He hung up the phone before his uncle had a chance to respond. He really didn't want to deal with his constant nagging and he didn't want Rory to come out of the bathroom and realize he'd called.

"Would you hurry up in there?" Jess called out, doing his best to keep his voice laced with humor to alleviate the tension leftover from last night. "I'm pretty sure my bladder is about to explode."

"Patience, grasshopper," Rory told him through the door. Her voice sounded light and airy showing no signs of distain. A wave of relief washed through Jess at the transition.

"Hey, I've heard that people can die from that," he said in mock seriousness.

"Don't be such a drama queen," she scolded him playfully, emerging from the bathroom. Her brunette locks were wrapped up in a messy bun at the top of her head and she had her toothbrush in her left hand, indicating that she'd just gotten done brushing her teeth. "The throne is yours, Your Majesty," she spoke, bowing as he passed her.

He strode passed her, silently thanking whatever deity watching over them for Rory's sudden behavior change. Because, if he were being completely honest with himself, he was scared. Terrified even. What if he didn't have it in him to bring her the salvation she seemed to so desperately need; to coax her through the nights' mistreatment? What would have happened then?

Pulling her from the flames wouldn't stop the fire. And for all he knew, she'd wait until he left and run right back in.

He shuddered at the thought, not wanting to think about all the possible scenarios unfolding in the back of his mind.

* * *

"Pass the ketchup?" Rory beckoned to Jess from her side of the booth.

The two had driven around aimlessly in an attempt to find some place sufficient enough to cure their hunger. After about only five minutes, "The Fireman's Tavern" had caught their eye with the promise of the 'best burger in the county.' Although it wasn't a very fruitful promise, the two had slept until two in the afternoon and the illusion of starvation had kicked in.

"I don't think this whole 'bottomless fries' thing was such a bright idea on their part," Jess said, passing her the condiment and raising an eyebrow in bemusement. "How many times have you asked them to bring more? Jeez."

Rory flashed him a sheepish smile, once again feeling a hint of self-consciousness wave over her. "I haven't eaten since yesterday!" she argued.

"You were sleeping for most of that time. The hunger should _not_ have set in to this extent," he rebutted, signaling her tray of french fries.

"But they're so good!" she told him. "You should find out how they make these. You know, so you can tell Luke."

"He'd think I was insulting his cooking abilities which, between you and me, are shit anyway," he said, leaning in to give his little confession a hint of secrecy from the outside world.

At this comment, Rory gasped in shock. "It is not!" But the slow formation of a smile gave away her feigned hurt. "Luke's cooking is some of my favorite, thank you very much."

"You poor girl," Jess said, looking honestly concerned. "You don't get out much, do you?"

"Jess!" she scolded.

He laughed it off, replying, "I'm just kidding. Damn." There was a small pause in their conversation as he watched her eat another fry. "Can we leave now?" he spoke up, growing genuinely impatient. "We've been in here for like three hours because of your stupid appetite."

"It has _not_ been that long," she told him matter-of-factly. He perked up his eyebrows indicating that, either way, their welcome at the tavern had been since expired. "Fine," she gave in, grabbing a napkin and wiping her hands and mouth on it. "But I know what you did." Her words were quiet and Jess wasn't sure if she'd even spoken at all. "You're not taking me back home."

He looked at her with disbelief. Since when had he ever done anything anyone told him to?

Oh wait, that's right.

He had taken her away from her home because she'd told him to. Any argument he was about to bring up would be invalid now. But he wouldn't go down without a fight. It just wasn't very Jess Mariano of him if he didn't.

"Excuse me? Even if I didn't want to take you home, we've got no money, Rory. I blew it all on the motel room, gas money, and this stupid diner. I'm taking you back," he told her relentlessly. "Hate me all you want, but I will force you into the goddamned car if I have to."

His words rang in her ears.

_Even if I didn't want to take you home…_

It shouldn't have stung, but it did. Somewhere in her chest, she felt a pang of hurt. He didn't want her there; didn't want to deal with the burden she'd unintentionally bestowed upon him. But within seconds, the throb went away and she had to remember if it was even there to begin with.

Struggling to think of some great master plan, she thought out loud, "I'll wire us some money from my account. We can use that. Or…Or…" That was all she had. She couldn't believe that was the only thing she could think of. "I'll-I could…I mean-"

"Rory, no. I already told Luke that I'd take you back to Stars Hollow. Your mom's been freaking out all morning. They know the town we're in," he recited. "Even if we don't go back, you know one of them is going to come searching for you out here."

"I can't go back now, Jess. You don't understand," she said, shaking her head in what Jess thought resembled fear.

"Then help me understand," he almost pleaded. Almost. Marianos don't beg. It was a life lesson he'd learned long ago.

Rory crossed her arms underneath her chest and glanced down, not making eye contact with the boy across the table.

Getting no response from her, he stubbornly said, "Fine. We're going back the motel to get our shit." And he got up, throwing a twenty on the table and walking away. But Rory just sat there unsure of how to go about her next move.

She could sit there in defiance and not leave to show just how much she desperately didn't want to go home. But then Jess might actually leave her there, stranded. Or she could get up and follow him. But then she'd be admitting defeat. Jess was known to be dangerous when he knew he had the upper hand and that was something Rory was determined to not let happen.

"Are you coming?" Jess questioned from the end of the row of booths. "Or are you going to sit there stubbornly until I make you move?"

A flash of nausea coursed through Rory at the thought of him manhandling her. She sadly thought that under any other circumstance, she probably would've found it secretly pleasurable, though she'd never admit it out loud.

Once again, getting no reaction, he paced over to her and said, "You really want to cause a scene, don't you?" As he was about to grab her wrist, she stood up rapidly.

"I'm going." He made a grab for her wrist again, unsure if she'd really move or if she was bluffing. But again, she pulled it away. "I'm going!"

"I can hear just fine, thanks. No need to shout," he said rather playfully. "Simmer down."

He couldn't help but notice how her anger undeniably sent flashes of heat through all the right places of his body. But he couldn't enjoy it as he wanted to. Something was scaring Rory bad enough to make her want to leave. And that, in turn, sent the slightest chill of fear down Jess's spine.


	5. Just Don't Leave Yet

**A/N:** This chapter seems short to me for some reason. I wish I knew how to prolong some of these scenes but I never can. Maybe it's impatience or something?

Anyway, have any of you guys seen the few episodes of 'Opposite Sex' that Milo Ventimiglia starred in? I just started watching it on YouTube and, oh my God, he sounds so young. I found it odd that was 23 and portraying a 15-year-old, though. Either way, there's a scene in one of the episodes where he dances around in a skirt. Funniest thing I've ever seen.

I've been on a Milo kick actually. Just watched Pathology this weekend, too. Grade-A Milo porn. Haha. Just kidding :]

But I digress.

Thank you, as always, for the support and feedback. I love hearing what you guys have to say and so far it's been nothing but helpful.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing

* * *

"Pack your shit and let's go." Jess's voice was stern, commanding even. And that didn't sit well with Rory.

She closed the motel door behind them and stood there insubordinately. "No."

He faltered for a second, once again looking back at her with disbelief. Did she not realize how much trouble she was getting herself into? Jess could care less about the shit that the people in Stars Hollow said about him. But for some reason, he felt the need to protect Rory from that. Rumors were probably already popping up all over town and the sooner they got back the easier it'd be to from a believable excuse.

"Fine," he said firmly. "I'll pack it for you." He made his way to the small table near the one window in the room, reaching to grab her bag on the chair next to it.

"Jess, please," Rory tried to argue, exasperated . "Just one more night."

"One more night? Rory, they know where we are," he informed her. "And I'm sorry, but I'm not about to wait around for your mom to drive out here and attempt to kick my ass."

"Then call Luke again! Have him talk to her. He'll reason with her." She was grasping at straws here.

"Oh yeah, because Luke's all giddy about the idea of us running away and sharing a motel room," he said, rolling his eyes. "For a smart girl, you're really dense, you know that?"

"Hey! I am _not_-"

"And I'm waiting for you to finally get that 'eureka moment' when you finally realize that this whole thing was a fucking stupid idea to begin with." Jess couldn't help but notice how she seemed to deflate at his last statement and he worried that maybe he'd been too harsh with her. But Rory was a strong girl and even if she didn't believe it, he did. He wasn't going to sit here and be all nice and polite to her just because she was a 'good kid.'

"You're not being fair," she told him, her stance unchanging but her voice a bit softer.

"_I'm_ not being fair?" Again with the disbelief. _What is this girls damage_, he thought to himself. "You're the one that asked to me to take you out of there. I spent what little money I had on this shithole motel. And you still have yet to tell me why any of this is happening in the first place! So, yeah. I guess that makes _me_ the unfair one," he snarled.

She couldn't believe she was doing this, but she didn't have other choice. Going back now wasn't something she could deal with. She needed a few days, not just a few hours.

"I told you, I'll wire us some money."

He just shook his head in response.

"One more night, Jess. That's all I'm asking of you."

"And all I asked of you was to tell me what the fuck was going on," he countered. "But that never happened."

To this, she had no reply. She knew he'd made a valid point and she knew that he knew it too. But admitting it out loud was something she wasn't about to do. So she simply looked at the ground, all of a sudden fascinated with the carpet's texture and patterns.

"So that's how it's going to be, huh?" he questioned angrily, taking a few steps towards her. "No snappy comeback? No, 'you have no idea what's going on.' Or 'you don't understand.'" He was beginning to get really frustrated with her and he wasn't entirely sure why.

Everybody had their reasons for running and everybody had their secrets. He, of all people, knew that.

"You've got nothing to say?" He'd backed her into a wall and while she was trying to stand her ground, she was sure she looked nothing more than feeble. "You know, I'm getting really fucking sick of this shit, Rory. Stop pretending to be so goddamn precious all the time! I don't get why you're so afraid of speaking up whenever a situation doesn't go your way. Stop pretending like none of it matters!"

"What do you want me to say?!" she yelled at him, finally protesting, her face inches from his.

Their breathing was ragged, his because of his little rant and hers because of his close proximity. And just like that, he realized the frustration wasn't frustration at all, but merely pent up sexual tension.

Before either of them knew what was happening, his lips captured hers. Their lips were much too shy, creating a gentle spark of (what was probably Jess's only moment of) innocence. Their lips interlocked and he was damn sure that she was going to pull away from him.

But she didn't. He was the one that backed away first, feeling like they'd lingered just a little too long in a territory they shouldn't have trespassed. But being the rebel that he naturally was, he stepped back in.

He raised one of his hands to rest on the wall beside her face as the other snaked it's way to her waist, holding her in place. He ran his tongue along her bottom lip, begging for entrance. She granted it timidly, but almost immediately without any of the hesitation that he'd expected.

He took a step closer to her, pushing her flush against the wall. Despite the heat that her body radiated, he couldn't help but feel the slightest of shivers at the contact of her body pressed up against his.

Needless to say, he was awestricken when he felt her small hands run slowly up his chest, igniting small glimmers of a tingly sensation he couldn't quite place. Her right hand tangled itself in his hair while her right one wrapped itself around his neck.

_This is so wrong_, Jess couldn't help but muse. But the thought sent a smirk to the playful features of his face.

His hand toyed mindlessly with the hem of her shirt, slowly inching underneath it to feel the soft skin it kept concealed. As their tongues wrestled for dominance (his by far overpowering her own), he felt her hands make their way back to his chest. She exerted slight pressure, wanting him to stop, but praying that he'd continue all at the same time.

It was then that he heard her inhale a sharp breath through her nose and felt her push a little bit harder, breaking the kiss.

Her face was wet and for one self-conscious second he thought he'd gotten a little too carried away and slobbered all over her face. But as logic finally kicked in, he realized that wasn't the case.

"Whoa," he said steadily. "Are you crying?" He dipped his head down in an attempt to see her face better, but she pushed passed him and found the bed quickly. She made sure her back was facing him as she curled into herself, not wanting him to ask her what was wrong, but knowing he would anyway.

_What the actual fuck_, he thought incredulously. He'd kissed his fair share of girls and not one of them had ever had that reaction. He prided himself on being a pretty damn decent kisser and was almost insulted that that was the response he'd gotten from her.

But Jess wasn't an idiot. He knew that wasn't the reason she'd freaked out, but believing so was easier for him. He wouldn't have to deal with all the awkward emotional shit that way.

Still, he knew better than to lie to himself. And instead of engaging in awkward conversation that he knew she wanted to avoid as well, he proposed a different strategy.

He scratched the back of his neck and sighed heavily "Fine," he told her.

He couldn't see her face, didn't know if she'd heard him, but continued.

"Fine," he repeated. "We'll stay another night." He saw her visibly unwind, her shoulders easing in to a more comfortable relaxation. "But you're telling me everything tomorrow."

Unsure of what to do, he grabbed the remote, turned on the T.V. and sat down on the bed with her. He leaned his back against the headboard, stole one quick glance at her fragile form, and focused back on the T.V. He wanted to do something, anything to fix whatever it was she had been concealing from him.

But even if he knew what it was, he doubted he'd have the words.


	6. And It Might As Well Be My Fault

**A/N:** This chapter did NOT come out the way I wanted it to. I typed, deleted, and typed again and it still came out a mess of unsatisfying words. Whatever. This chapter was long overdue. Please excuse any grammatical errors and typos.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

* * *

Rory had fallen asleep hours ago, leaving Jess to sit there next to her absentmindedly surfing the T.V. channels. He had absolutely no idea what was going on in that head of hers.

One second they were screaming at each other. The next he practically pounced on her. And then before he knew it, she had completely freaked out. It was too much, too soon. He should've known not to meddle in the affairs of a situation as dangerous as this.

Not knowing what else to do (and not exactly feeling tired enough to fall asleep), he decided that taking a long walk would enable him to clear his mind of any distractions, thus allowing him to think of a solution, a game plan, for tomorrow.

He wanted to be alone so he could collect his thoughts, but of course it was never that easy. As soon as he opened the door, Rory awoke from her slumber and groggily asked, "Why are you leaving?"

He could've sworn he saw worry in her eyes, like she believed he was going to take off, ultimately leaving her stranded there. "Nowhere," was his curt response. "Go back to bed."

"Stop telling me what to do," she shot back at him. It would be an understatement to say that he was shocked to hear that response from her.

"Fine," he said, refusing to let her know she had stunned him. "Don't go to bed. Watch T.V. or something then." He was about to step out the door, but again she spoke up.

"You did it again."

"Your point?" he sighed, giving off a hint of annoyance. He had turned around in the doorframe so he was able to face her. He pulled out a cigarette from the pack in his pocket and stuck it behind his ear. He knew she hated it when he smoked and he loved it when he could get a rise out of her. He wasn't sure why, but there was something about how even when she was mad at him, she never fully shut him out. He liked testing her; seeing how far he could push her until she finally gave up like everyone else in his life had. It was almost a game for him.

"I'm coming with you," she stated matter-of-factly.

He didn't move as he silently contemplated letting her join him. "Only if you tell me everything." He raised his eyebrows, challenging her.

"That's not fair and you know it." And he did. But if she was going to interrupt him as he was trying to figure out what the fuck was going on, then she was going to tell him herself what the fuck was going on.

"Life's not fair. Now, hurry up."

Seeing him retreat, she sprung from the bed and left the motel room, catching up to him quickly.

"Where are we going?" The weather was warm and it reminded her of summer. But the air was dry and she wondered if she would crack; her skin from the aridity and her heart from her own secrecy.

"Everywhere." His answers were short. They always were when he was irritated or when he wanted to avoid something. Rory found herself wondering how he'd react if and when she told him. Would he give her more than just his typical monosyllabic response? In all honesty, she wasn't expecting more than that.

They walked in silence for a few blocks until they came across a small park equipped with a swing set and monkey bars. Approaching the swings, he dug in his pocket and pulled out his lighter, but didn't make a move to grab the cigarette tucked behind his ear.

They sat down simultaneously and sure enough, Jess began to get fidgety. He pulled the cigarette from it's hiding place and lit it, watching the embers burn a bright orange. The silence was killing him and he'd never admit how nervous he was. He knew she didn't want to talk about it, but he had to know. He cared about her and that scared him more than anything. The cigarette gave him something to focus on, something to do with his hands. And if he couldn't be touching her, the cigarette was his next best bet.

"I really wish you wouldn't do that," she scolded quietly, using her feet to rock her swing back and forth.

"Old habits die hard and all that jazz," he whispered back.

Silence surrounded them again and it was so prominent that he found it deafening. He took another long drag and reveled in the itch the smoke created in the back of his throat. It offered him a distraction from the itch to demand the answers he wasn't sure she'd willingly give.

"I'm sorry," she blurted out. She wasn't sure where the apology came from or even why she felt the need to say it, but word vomit had always been a downfall of hers.

She heard him sigh heavily and glanced over in his direction. "I don't get it, Rory." His voice was soft but held a hint of callousness. "This isn't you. You're acting like…," he paused, not sure whether or not to say it out loud. "You're acting like me and it's freaking me out just a little bit here. When things get tough, I run. But that's not something I've ever seen you do. Why now? What could be so bad that…?"

He let the end of his sentence linger, knowing that she got the point.

After a moment, she responded to his inquiries. "I was hoping I wouldn't have to say it out loud. If I don't acknowledge it, it's not there, you know?" Her voice cracked and the second it did, Jess's head snapped up to look at her to inspect for any visual harm. But all he could take note of was her internal struggle.

"I didn't expect it to happen like this. He told me it wouldn't but…" she trailed off, still managing to keep herself together for the time being.

"Can I get some nouns here?" he quipped. He didn't mean for it to come out as sarcastic as it did, but sentiment was never something he was well-versed in.

She cleared her throat, the sound echoing in the stillness of the dark. "Dean," she choked out quietly.

Jess swallowed hard and he could feel his entire body tense up at that one syllable. But he stayed silent for fear that if he spoke up, she'd cave in on herself again. So instead he gave a simple nod, a sign for her to continue.

"I thought he was what I wanted, you know? I was sure of it. But then-" At that exact second, the tears started to slowly cascade down her cheeks, staining the delicate porcelain underneath. "Then you showed up and everything changed."

It was his fault. She was blaming him for the evils life introduced to her. He realized then that he had consequently been one of those evils, gnawing away at her innocence; provoking her to delve into what she knew was wrong.

"He got jealous. I can understand that. I really can. I mean, what happened earlier today proved everything." The tears were still flowing silently, her voice only wavering every few moments. "And, I don't know. Maybe he had to prove to himself that I was his."

He saw her shudder and let out a strangled gasp. Once again, he found himself wanting to touch her. But he knew it wouldn't be appropriate, not right now. So he put his cigarette back in his mouth and let the guilt-tinged smoke fill his lungs.

"But I don't want to belong to anybody. It wasn't supposed to happen like this," she said to herself.

"What, Rory?" he finally spoke up, his voice scratchy. "What wasn't supposed to happen 'like this'?"

She looked up at him as if just realizing he'd been there the whole time. And then she glanced down again, her breath hitching but not reaching raggedness yet. "I told him," she choked out. "I told him it was nothing. But he wouldn't listen."

Fear crept up Jess's spine and he was torn between making her stop her explanation and urging her continue.

Another long drag.

Another lungful of remorse.

"He said it'd be okay. He said that it'd been long overdue and that I should just give in, except it." Her words were coming out faster in her determination to spit out the truth. "But when I said no, he got angry. I've never seen him so angry before. He blamed you; accused us of…" She couldn't bring herself to say it.

_Fucking_, he thought bitterly to himself.

"He should've known it wasn't true. He should've known me better than that," she continued. "And then he said he was sorry and begged for me to give in again." She was openly crying now, not caring if he saw her in her desperation.

He wanted to reach out, to touch her, to let her know he was there. But she looked too fragile and he didn't want to break her any more than she had been. She'd shatter under his touch and she was doing everything to keep her pieces together.

"I said no, but…" Again she trailed off. He was sure she wouldn't speak up again, but her voice made it's way to his ears once more. "He was angry."

Another tear.

Another raspy, sorrowful gasp.

"He told me I owed it to him."

Jess was trying to comprehend what he was hearing, but the words were just slurring together until it was all a jumbled mess of syllables and run-on sentences.

"I said no. I said no."

Those were the only words she could bring herself to repeat. Over and over again, the chorus of her mangled sobs deteriorated the words until they were incomprehensible. Something in Jess broke. The line between stubborn asshole and compassionate ally blurred as he made a move to stand up and comfort her.

But before he could, she managed to collect herself for a small moment and whispered, "I'm so sorry." With that, she got up and took off in the direction that they had came from.

Jess sat there completely stunned. It was as if someone had taken his entire being; cut him open; rearranged his insides; put his heart in place of his stomach and his lungs in place of his heart, digesting the wounds and pumping smoky anguish through his veins.

He sat there, shocked into immobility. Things like that weren't supposed to happen to girls like her.

But it had.

Upon making this realization, Jess snapped out of his reverie and chased after Rory.

They hadn't wandered far from the motel and, for this, he was grateful. We sauntered over to the door. Hoping that she hadn't locked him out. She hadn't, but he wasn't sure whether he should be thanking her for keeping him in mind or berating her for not being more careful.

She was sitting on the foot of the bed when he entered the room, his footsteps never making a sound. He was slightly cautious about walking up to her fearing that he wasn't allowed to. Situations like these were foreign to him and the thought of delving into the unknown was a new concept he had yet to grasp.

"Rory." The word came out softly and for a second, Jess had to remind himself that this was real life and not just some nightmare his mind wouldn't let him wake up from.

He crouched down on the floor in front of where she placed herself on the bed, wanting to beg her to look at him. But doing so would be out of character for him, and he wasn't quite comfortable enough to break his role in front of her yet.

He glanced up at her, hoping that she'd make eye contact with him. When she spoke up again, he barely recognized the voice as hers.

"I took a pregnancy test before I showed up at Luke's the other day." Her voice was even now, but it was void of any and all emotion.

Jess didn't want to hear the outcome; didn't want to know the ending to this story. But he was the one who had asked her to tell it. He preferred the volumes of Hemmingway, of Kerouac. He found himself hating the way that reality fused with the literary works of the authors he once cherished.

"It was positive."

She looked at him then, trying to assess his disappointment. But she found none. Instead, she found chocolate pools of worry and apprehension. She'd never seen concern etched on his face quite like that.

"Those things lie all the time," he said calmly, not knowing how exactly to handle their current situation.

"But what if-"

"Don't." He cut her off abruptly. He knew it couldn't be true, wouldn't believe it until it was absolutely one hundred percent positive. This had always been one of his worst nightmares as he was growing up. A girl he'd had sexual liaisons with would knock on his door one day and inform him of what to expect nine months from then.

But this scenario was all warped and twisted. He'd never had sexual liaisons with this girl. But he still felt the same anxiety he knew would've struck him had the nightmare been his own.

"Come on," he said, taking her hand. "Let's see if we can find a drugstore around here somewhere." His voice was still scratchy, but the serenity of it made the words sound silky smooth. He stood up, causing her to rise as well.

A wave of unknown emotions hit her hard and the next thing she knew she was hugging him tightly, her arms around his neck, her head resting on his shoulder. It only took him a second react.

His hands wound themselves around her waist, holding her tightly to him. He felt the small tremors convulsing through her body and locked her more securely in place against him.

Just then, a sob escaped her lips and her legs gave out from underneath her, weak from the nights' emotional overload. Jess slid to the floor with her, neither one ever breaking contact with the other.

"Shh," was all he could manage to say. He rubbed circles into her back in hopes to soothe her, to calm her down. He never uttered an apology or a simple "It'll be okay." Because he knew it wouldn't be.

If she really was in the dire condition that she believed she was in, her mother would never look at her the same way again. It had been her mother's goal to keep Rory from going through the turmoil that she had faced when she was only sixteen. Now, a year older than her mom had been…

Like mother, like daughter.

But if it wasn't true, if it was just a scare, it'd be a scare that would stick with her.

Jess felt her tighten her grip on him, needy hands clinging to fistfuls of his t-shirt. "Shh. We'll figure this out, alright?" he cooed. "I need you to relax."

"I'm sorry," she told him again.

He hated that she felt she had something to apologize for. "Don't apologize for something you had no control over." He knew how it was. It was always easy to get lost in the moment. Teenagers are indecisive little bastards. One day, they want one thing; the next, they disregard it like it was never even there; and the day after that, they'll go right back to wanting it again. Rory may have wanted to be loved, but the love she was given wasn't what she wanted.

Jess made a mental note to keep her out of harm's way until further notice. It was that very second that she had stolen his heart. And she was such a perfect criminal that he never even noticed.


	7. The Road That Lies Ahead

**A/N:** Shitty update. But I haven't had one in a while so I figured I had to get _something_ posted. I guess this is mostly a filler. The end of the quarter is this week and I'm in Hawaii for Spring Break so updates might not happen for a while. But expect things to start heating up between our favorite couple shortly. Again, sorry for the lack of updates and the poor quality of them as well.

Ignore /typos. I didn't read over this before submitting it.

As always, thank you for your reviews/support. It's greatly appreciated.

**Disclaimer:** I clam nothing as my own.

* * *

"Are there even going to be any drugstores open now?" It was nearly one in the morning and the time had totally been eluded by Jess. All he had been focusing on was a way to keep Rory from locking herself away, preventing him from guiding her back to reality. She was doing okay, though. Better than he had expected.

"There's got to be a 24-hour Walgreens around here somewhere," he replied, emotionless and ignoring the unease rising in the pit of his stomach. He had to keep his cool for both of their sakes.

"There," Rory stated, indicating with her finger the Walgreens she spotted on the corner of one of the main streets. Jess pulled the car into one of the parking spaces and took the keys out of the ignition, silently dreading making this next purchase.

As he stepped out of the car, he noticed that she had yet to make a move. He placed his hand on the hood of the car to balance himself and bent down to investigate what was stalling her. "Rory?" he called out.

But she was just staring blankly ahead, seemingly mesmerized by the white cinder block walls of the drugstore. "People are going to stare." She wasn't used to being the center of attention. While she was often applauded for her academic achievements, her sexual advances had always been kept to a minimum. Knowing that people would look at her with disgust and pity terrified her. She didn't want people thinking she was just some whore that got knocked up during a one night stand.

"So? It's like almost two in the morning. Nobody's going to be in there," Jess spoke, pulling Rory from her thoughts. He could see the gears in her mind working in overdrive, most likely creating a scenario that was well passed overdramatic. "C'mon."

Walking towards the entrance, he heard her door slam shut behind him. He slowed his pace so she could catch up and smirked internally as she fell into place beside him. They walked into the store silently, neither of them knowing what to say to the other.

Approaching the aisle at which her desired product was located, Jess reached for her hand in a moment of what he'd call weakness. He was never one to make it obvious of his affinity for her, but he felt like now was an appropriate time to disregard the rules. He never played by them anyway.

He gave her hand a gentle squeeze, unsure of how to gauge her current emotion. She, herself, wasn't even completely aware of how she was feeling. Instead of waiting for the dread to creep through her system, she quickened her pace, grabbed what she needed (a package with three tests instead of one), and made her way to the checkout.

Her hands were shaking as Jess untangled their clasped fingers. He grabbed her elbow, silently asking her to look at him. "Go. Wait in the car," he told her, grabbing the item of choice from her hands. "I got it covered."

Without saying a word, she looked at him for a moment praying that her eyes portrayed her gratitude sufficiently. He understood. She knew he did, and once she was sure of it she walked back to the car, patiently awaiting his return.

* * *

Twenty minutes later and Jess was still pacing nervously on the other side of the bathroom door. "How you holding up in there?," he said a little louder than usual in an attempt to be heard through the closed door.

"Jess…" Her voice was small and immediately his stomach plummeted.

"Can I come in?," he questioned, but his hand was already twisting the doorknob, allowing him entrance.

She was sitting in the bathtub with her knees pulled to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. She reminded him of a small child, innocent and confused. He wasn't sure whether or not it was okay for him to ask about, dare he say it,_ the results_ but his curiosity was consuming him.

"On the sink," she mumbled before he even had a chance to speak. She rested her forehead on her knees, her arms still wrapped tightly around her legs. Jess took a tentative step towards the bathroom sink and glanced down to see the three tests splayed out before him.

Relief flooded over him and he let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. Thee blue dashes looked back at him, their negativity soothing him entirely. But Rory was still off her game and he wasn't entirely sure why. Shouldn't she be just as pleased as he was?

"Everything okay?" he questioned slowly, unsure of whether or not it was his place to ask. With every hour that passed in her presence, it got harder and harder for him to ignore his want for her. It scared him, needless to say, seeing as that he generally shied away from the emotional part of his relationships and focused more on the physical aspects. As he was all so well aware, this was new to him.

"I think so," she told him, picking her forehead up from her knees and placing her chin there instead.

"Convincing," he retorted. He slipped off his shoes and stepped into the tub on the opposite end of her. It was a tight squeeze, but he had just enough room to rest his back against the tile wall and bend his knees at a comfortable angle. "What's wrong, Gilmore?" He spoke quietly, knowing that she'd talk if she was ready and if she wasn't, she'd let him know.

It must have been an odd picture had anyone been watching them; her, confining herself to a small space with him semi-sprawled out…just sitting in a bathtub together.

She let out a sigh and stated innocently, "Does this mean we need to go back there now?"

"Do you want to go back?" he countered.

"Does it really matter what I want?"

"Should it matter?"

"Do you always answer a question with another question?" She wasn't annoyed. She just…wanted to know what happened next now that they knew her previous fear was diminished. But just because one had been dissolved didn't mean that others weren't surfacing.

Now it was Jess's turn to let out a sigh. "I wouldn't be surprised if Luke told Lorelei where we were." He wanted to make sure she understood what he was getting at. "If we stay here much longer, someone's going to show up for you eventually. I wouldn't be surprised if you mom was on her way right now."

"I don't want to face everyone," she said, sensing that it was an appropriate time to get her worries out in the open.

"I know," was his simple response.

She didn't say anything. She wasn't sure of the words to make him understand what she was feeling. She knew Jess wasn't stupid, but he wasn't exactly one for many emotions either.

"You can't hide forever though, Ror."

"Deans' going to wonder why I was with you," she spoke absentmindedly. "He'll probably get mad."

"Why'd you let him do it?" As soon as the words left his mouth, he knew he shouldn't have said them.

"You think I _let_ him do this to me? I told you I said no," she shot back at him.

"Did you really say, 'No,' or did you just imply that he was taking it too far?" Sure, Jess was just short of hating the guy, but he saw the way Dean looked at Rory. While it was often with desire, it was never forcefully so. Jess, more often than not, found himself growing jealous of the fact that he could stare at Rory like that while he, himself, could not. That 'lovestruck' look would not only have been unacceptable, but it was not a look he prided himself on showing. Stoic was more his forte.

"I-I…" She couldn't think of a decent response. She hadn't flat out said no, but she'd warned him that he was rushing things; that she wasn't ready. "He was supposed to know. He guilted me into it. It wasn't my fault!" Her voice got louder with every sentence, threatening another breakdown to occur.

"I know. I know," he told her, honestly understanding. While she hadn't voiced to Dean that she had no desire to take things further, he had already made the decision for her. Either way he tossed it, the taller boy was still in the wrong and Jess knew that. He just wanted to make Rory see that she could prevent it from happening again, God forbid Jess ever let Dean touch her again. "We don't have to go back yet if you don't want to."

"I don't," she said quickly.

"But we can't stay here," he continued.

"Then where?"

Jess thought for moment, truly at a loss for what to do. That is, until he remembered a friend owed him a favor.

"New York. We're almost at state lines anyway."

"Okay," was all she could bring herself to speak out loud. She was nervous. This was so out of character for her. Somewhere in the pit of her stomach, she was enthralled by this behavior.

"Let me make a phone call and we can go," he said calmly.

He got up slowly, careful not to accidentally kick her in their close proximity. Thankful to be out of the cramped space, he stretched revealing a thin strip of olive skin right about his waistline. Rory had to remind herself to breathe as she noticed the 'V' his muscles created beneath his clothes. She gulped silently as he slipped out of the doorframe, wondering what the hell she'd just gotten herself into.


	8. It Was All So Real To Me

**A/N: **I feel like I'm taking this story too slow. Do you think I should speed things up or is the pace okay? I've never actually written a multi-chapter story like this before so please: critique **everything**_**. **_Haha. Here's another update for you guys. I was going to make this chapter longer [seeing as how all the chapters are pretty short], but it's getting late and I've got exams to study for.

Feedback please? If there's anything I need to fix, don't feel like you can't tell me :] Again, I feel like this is more of a filler. But all stories need a bit of background information to build up the characters. Right? :/

As always, I thank all of you immensely.

**Disclaimer: **See previous chapters

* * *

"What's in New York?" Rory asked from the passenger seat.

"Philadelphia." His short, curt responses were back. Rory wasn't sure if he was just tired or if he was just being evasive like usual.

"What's in Philadelphia? We're not staying with…?" She knew his home was there. Or what little of it was left. Did Jess even ever really have a home? She was never completely sure of what had caused his mother to send him off to Luke and, as of yet, she'd never questioned it. She was aware of the generalities (disorderly conduct delinquencies), but she'd never asked for specifics.

"No," he told her.

"How long are we staying?"

"As long as we need to." His answers were never very straightforward, a small hint that even he didn't know what would happen or where they'd end up.

"Where are we staying?"

"With a friend."

"What friend?"

"God, do you always ask so many questions?" he questioned her back, a little aggravated with her giving him the third degree.

"Do you always have to give such cryptic responses?" If she were being completely honest, she'd have to admit that she was getting annoyed as well. However, she didn't feel it was her place to be angry with him seeing as that he'd dropped almost everything to make sure she was okay; to get her away from the one thing that terrified her most: confrontation.

"Are we really going to start this again?" He gripped the steering wheel tighter than necessary causing his knuckles to turn a ghost white. The questioning back and forth never got them anywhere and it was beginning to get old. All Jess wanted to do was to crawl into his bed and not wake up for the next 24 hours. The lack of sleep was making him more irritable than usual and he really didn't want to take it out on Rory.

"How long until we get there?" She flinched internally realizing what she'd just done.

He gave her a stern look, his eyebrows shifting into an expression of annoyance.

"Sorry," she mumbled. She couldn't help that she was genuinely curious about everything, this especially.

Jess let out a weary sigh, finally deciding to give in to her interrogation. After witnessing the events of the past day, he'd quickly grown aggravated and somewhat downcast at seeing her upset. He inwardly cringed, hoping it wouldn't become a permanent emotion. "An old friend of mine owes me. I called him and he's letting us crash at his place. We'll get there when we get there."

And that was the only explanation she got.

* * *

"Danny!"

Jess banged loudly on the front door of the house. It was just after dawn and he was sure it'd take more than a simple ring of the doorbell to get his friend to wake his ass up and open the door.

The wooden door burst open merely seconds after and Jess was greeted with a very disgruntled brunette man. "What the fuck, Mariano?"

To this, Jess just smiled. Rory stood beside him, trying to remember the last time she'd seen him do that. But she couldn't. The only image that played through her head was that damn crooked smirk of his and how she could feel it when they'd kissed.

"Hey, man, I told you we were on our way," Jess laughed out as the other man stepped aside to let him and Rory in, squinting his eyes to avoid the sun's harsh rays.

"I didn't think that'd mean you'd get here at 6:30 in the goddamn morning."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Jess disregarded. "Just show us where you're letting us stay and you can go back to bed."

"Upstairs. First door on the right. Spare bedroom." And with that, he walked in what seemed like a daze back to the room of his own.

"Are you sure he wasn't sleep walking? He knows that we're actually here right?" Rory questioned. Danny (that's what Jess had called him, right?) didn't exactly seem like a morning person. She wasn't necessarily one herself but with coffee acting as her catalyst, she was usually a lot less cranky.

"Eh, he'll be fine," Jess said. "Come on."

They ascended the staircase and easily found the room they were looking for. It was nicer than Jess had imagined it to be, light blue paint adorning the walls and a flat screen T.V. on the wall opposite the queen-sized bed.

Without thinking, Rory moved to the bed, immediately collapsing onto it. She had yet to fall asleep seeing as she was unable to on the ride there. She'd spent the entire time thinking about this obvious mess she'd gotten herself into. She'd mostly thought about Jess, though, attempting to assess her feelings towards him. There had always been an attraction, yes. But was it turning into something more for her?

She wasn't entirely sure.

"You look tired," she muttered suddenly.

Jess nodded his head, unsure of what to say. He still had yet to wrap his mind around what was going on. Was this really happening? Or was it just a twisted joke his unconscious mind was playing on him while slept? "I am."

"Then sleep," she ordered him as she scooted to one side of the bed, allowing room for another person. Allowing room for him.

But Jess wasn't sure if he'd be able to sleep soundly next to her. Not after everything she'd confessed to him. She was offering him to hop into bed with her, but was she really okay with it? The last boy besides him that she'd shared a bed with had done something horrible and tactless. Could she really peacefully sleep in a bed with another person and not think about it?

He moved with caution, slipping his shoes off slowly and laying down next to her even slower. His movements were languid with his nervousness. But as soon as his head hit the pillow and he brought the blanket up over him, the only coherent thought resounding in his mind was chastising him for allowing himself to go so long without any sleep.

His eyes closed, but immediately shot right back open at the sound of her calm voice. Her face was close enough to his so she could whisper and he'd still hear, but far enough away to not give the wrong impression. "Who's Danny?"

"I met him in middle school," Jess informed her, too exhausted to bother with elusive responses. "He got me my first pack of cigarettes," he told her, smirking at the old memory.

"But why is he so okay with letting us stay here?"

"I bailed him out of jail a few years ago." Jess' voice was becoming raspier by the minute and Rory had to force herself to not think of how good it'd sound to hear that voice whisper dangerously tainted phrases into her ear. "Instead of paying me back, I told him this would do."

"Oh." It was all she could think to say. As he talked, all she seemed to focus on was his lips and she prayed that he hadn't noticed.

"Got to warn you though. He's quite the party animal. He's having something tonight, actually." Jess' eyes closed as he spoke, sleep fighting its way to claim him. But his words were still clear, despite the harsher rasp.

"What does that mean?" Rory questioned, new to the concept of an actual _party _party. The thought excited her, but she'd never admit it out loud.

"Knowing him?" he said, opening his eyes to look at her again. "It's not going to be just some little get-together." She didn't respond. "Listen, it's late. Early? Whatever." He was slightly confused, not being used to finding sleep in the daylight hours. "Go to sleep. I'm sure he'll wake us in a few hours."

She gave him a slight nod and closed her eyes, preparing sleep to overtake her. But a few seconds later, her eyes were open again, staring at Jess's tranquil form. Before she knew what she was doing, she leaned closer to him, and placed a chaste kiss on his lips, retreating almost immediately.

He looked back at her with surprise, but was greeted with her back towards him.

And he couldn't remember if it was real or if he had dreamt it up in his exhaustion.


	9. Everything Inbetween

**A/N: **Alright. I'm going to try to get one more update in before I leave on Wednesday. After that, I won't be able to update until after the 15th.

I still encourage you guys to bounce possible plotlines off of me. I've been tihnking about maybe doing a few oneshots outside of this stroy as well. But I always get a little rusty when it comes to teh actual ideas for the stories. Horrible? Maybe. But whatever.

As always, thank you guys so much for continuing to read. It's your...support, I guess? That keeps me motivated :]

**Disclaimer: **Nothing's changed. I still own absolutely nothing.

* * *

"My sleep schedule is so fucked," Jess muttered as he sat down on his friend's living room couch. He had to admit, Danny was doing better than he had imagined.

"Yeah, man. What the hell were you thinking showing up here so goddamn early?" Danny asked, standing up and walking towards the kitchen. Jess could hear him tap his fingers across the island as he walked, drumming a quiet pattern on the marble.

"Didn't think you'd mind," he stated as he heard the refrigerator door open.

A few clinks of glass resounded before Danny spoke up again. "I don't but-" He trailed away from his thought to ask," Beer?"

Jess nodded his approval. "You have no idea how much I've been craving the taste of alcohol these past few days."

"Well, then. You've come to the right place, my friend," he said, handing off a bottle to the younger male. "Is the presence of estrogen getting to be too much for my little boy?"

Danny was three years older than Jess and had always acted as somewhat of an older brother for the boy. While his influences weren't always pure and good natured, he'd protected Jess from ever getting in too far over his head. A brotherly bond had formed long ago between the two, hazing and teasing included.

"Fuck you," Jess muttered. "It's been a rough couple of days."

"Ah, so it is girl troubles," his friend said knowingly.

Jess took a swig of the cold beverage before saying, "You couldn't be more wrong." His voice held a hint of denial and defensiveness.

"Mmhmm," Danny droned. "So who is she? C'mon. How long have you been dating her? She doesn't look like the past girls I've seen you with. That 'good girl' thing getting you off now?"

"Ugh, stop. It's not like that." And it wasn't. He wished it was, but he wouldn't admit that out loud yet. Too much, too soon. And while Danny was the closest thing to a real friend he had, he wasn't ready for the repercussions of admitting his attraction. While Danny had always been the older one, his maturity level had always been a few years behind him, finding perverse phrases and acts to be more than amusing.

"What's not like what?"

The feminine voice had shocked both men. Taking a glance towards the staircase, both boys took in Rory's appearance. She had on different clothes than she'd arrived in, her hair was damp, and she was towel drying it lazily.

"I hope you don't mind," she stated timidly as she looked at Danny, referring to the fact that she'd obviously taken a shower in his home.

"No, no. No mind at all," he smiled at her. "Feel free to get naked in this house any time you please." Jess caught the surprised look on Rory's face as she descended to the first floor, but she quickly composed herself again, unsure of how to take the comment. Danny stood up and leaned in towards Jess. "This conversation isn't over," he said stealthily before standing upright. "I got to get going. Have a few errands to run before tonight. Need the liquor and such."

With that, he grabbed his keys from the coffee table and exited his house through the front door, leaving the two teens alone.

"Should I be worried?" Rory questioned as she sat down on the opposite end of the couch, towel still in hand.

"I'd say no, but knowing him…" He dwindled off mid thought. "How'd you sleep?"

"Better than the night before." With the comfort from knowing that she wasn't in the horrible predicament she once believed she was in, she'd slept absolutely soundly. However, once waking up, she realized she had some business to take care of; a few wrongs to hopefully make right. "Do you think he'd mind if I used his phone?" she asked shyly; nervously.

"Um, no. No, go ahead. I think it's by the far right cabinet in the kitchen." Jess wasn't an idiot. With that tone of voice she could only be calling one person.

She stood up and grabbed the cordless the phone. "I'm going to…take this upstairs," she signaled with a thumb in the desired direction.

"Take your time," he told her, giving her privacy. After seeing her disappear up the steps, he sighed heavily and took another long sip from the bottle in his hands. This girl was going to be the death of him.

* * *

She strode back into the guest bedroom and paced back and forth a few times, battling with the decision to make the phone call or not.

Now or never, she thought. Okay. Deep breath before the plunge.

She dialed the number quickly (adding a '*67' to the beginning) before she could chicken out.

One the second ring, a very exasperated Dean answered. "Rory?"

"Um, yeah. Yeah, it's me," she stumbled out. She hadn't really thought this through. She'd made the phone call with one objective in mind and as scared as she was, she was determined to follow through.

"Where are you? What'd that T Bird wannabe do to you?"

She was completely annoyed with the fact that he thought Jess had done anything to her when in reality it had been Dean that had hurt her. "Nowhere. And he didn't do anything to-"

"I'm coming to get you. Lorelei had Luke drive to the motel Jess said you guys were staying at, but you guys weren't there. Should've known he'd be lying the whole time. That son of a-" he ranted.

"Dean! This isn't working," she blurted out. It's not how she had been planning on doing this, but at least it was out in the open now. Her nerves got to be too much though as she found herself desperately wanting this conversation to be over after she'd only just initiated it. "I can't do this."

There was a pause on the other end of the line before, "Do what, Rory? Are you-Are you breaking up with me?"

Tears were welling in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. "I told you no, Dean," she whispered. "I can't be with someone who-"

"I knew it," he laughed out. "I knew it. You and Jess. You've been doing him behind my back, haven't you?"

Rory was appalled. "What?! Dean, no." She let out a hefty sigh. "I'm not even getting into this conversation with you. I'm done. Goodbye, Dean."

She pressed 'End', ignoring his protests from the other end of the line. She looked up, contemplating on whether or not to let herself breakdown, but the sight of Jess in the doorframe stopped her.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I heard you yelling and I wanted to…" He wasn't sure what he wanted, actually. His new overprotectiveness towards her was a bit alarming to him.

"Uh, yeah. No, everything's," she mused. "Everything's fine. Or at the very least, it will be. I hope."

"You sure?" He leaned his weight on the doorframe, crossing his arms over his chest. "You look a little shaken up." Shut up, Jess. If she's upset, let her be upset. It's not your place to ask these things, he internally chastised himself.

"That's because I am," she deflated, sounding instantly miserable. "This was supposed to make me feel better, but instead it just…I don't know." She sat down on the foot of the bed, wringing her hands uneasily. She was opening up to Jess again and every part of her was screaming to stop. But for some reason, her mouth kept moving against her will. "I mean, I'm glad I got it over with, but the feeling is still there. The nervousness. Would it be completely out of line to say that I'm still kind of scared?"

When her head shot up to meet his stare, he was taken aback by how vivid the color of her eyes was. It was something he'd noticed before, but with the glossiness glazing her eyes, it made them stand out even more prominently.

"Why would it be out of line?" He was still careful never to give her any direct answers. Taking this entire situation with nothing but caution, he realized that getting too attached might not be what was good for her right now. Getting involved with anything involving him was possibly the worst thing for her, actually.

And yet, here she was. He was willingly carting her around, stealing her away from everything she deemed nightmarish.

She didn't respond to him, still uncertain about how to explain herself.

"Listen," Jess chimed in again, an idea forming in his mind. "I know it's really not like you, but what do you say you let loose tonight?"

"What do you mean?"

"My buddy, Jack, is pretty good at mending broken hearts." And in his experience, that was true. While he'd never actually had his heart completely shattered by a girl (it was usually him doing the shattering), on the nights when he felt the world was truly against him he'd find a bottle of Jack and drown his sorrows. It was immensely cathartic for him.

"Jack?" Rory questioned innocently.

Jess had to stifle a laugh at her childish inquiry. "Jack Daniels? Whiskey?"

Realization dawned on her just then. "Oh, I don't know. I haven't- I mean it's-"

"You've never tasted alcohol before?" He wasn't surprised, but it was still weird for him to come across a teenager who hadn't ever had a few forgotten nights due to alcohol consumption.

"I've had wine, but that's really about it," she told him honestly.

"Tonight has the potential to change that." He sent a sinister smirk her way, unable to help himself. He wasn't sure if Rory was ready to delve into his lifestyle, but he knew she could make that decision on her own.

He took a good look at her again and realized that her eyes were no longer threatening to open their flood gates. "I'm kind of scared about that, too," she told him, shy once again.

He stood up straight, supporting his own weight instead of having the doorframe do it for him, but his arms stayed crossed. He wanted to make sure she understood. "Nobody's pressuring you into anything."

And with that simple comment, she found herself wishing it would've Jess she'd lost it to.

* * *

The bass on the stereo was overpowering, but not strong enough to drown out the words that followed along with the music. Jess could feel the beat in his stomach as he made his way through the living room and in search of Rory. He'd lost her when Danny had asked him to play bartender for the night. He had willingly agreed, being fully aware that that meant he could consume as much liquor as he wanted to.

He hadn't planned on leaving Rory by herself, but she'd insisted that she'd be fine and that he shouldn't worry about her. If something didn't feel right, she'd find him immediately.

But now Jess had proclaimed his bartender duties as diminished and began to search for the girl through the crowd of people.

"Ay, Jessie boy!" Danny slung his arm around Jess' shoulders, wishing Jess would be enjoying the party as much as he was.

"What'd I tell you about calling me that?" Jess grunted as he slid his friend's arm off of him. "Have you seen Rory anywhere?" He craned his neck, attempted to scan above the crowd.

"Yeah, bro. She's over there," he said, pointing to his left indicating a group of people standing next to the island in the kitchen. If he would've just stayed where he'd been the whole time…

Realizing who was with her, Jess' heart sunk. "Axel? Danny, you let her get near Axel? What's your problem, man?"

"What?" Danny defended, shouting to Jess' retreating back. "He only got two girls pregnant last time! Quit freaking out."

But Jess hadn't heard him. He was more focused on the fact that he'd told her he would be close to the kitchen if she needed him. And he hadn't been there.

Trying to seem as casual as possible, he walked up to the group and slapped a friendly hand on Axel's shoulder. The two had been more than acquaintances but less than friends when Jess had left for Stars Hollow and he had no intention on pissing the guy off. He was bulkier than Jess, but not to the point where it was unnaturally so. Jess had never refused a fight, but he found himself trying to avoid one with Axel at all costs. Now that both were legally of age, a brutal quarrel wouldn't end well for either of them.

"Hey, man," Jess said smoothly. He saw Rory visibly relax at the sight of him, but didn't miss the dazed look in her eye, the sloppy grin on her face, and the classic red cup in her hand. He moved so he was standing next to her, placing himself between her and Axel.

The buffer man seemed to take this and let Jess's arrival sink in. "Jess," he drawled out. "Good to see you, man. She with you?" He nodded his head towards Rory, silently asking if Jess claimed her as his own.

"Nah, man," Jess told him. "Jailbait, you know?" He was doing his best to play it cool and was praying that Rory wouldn't open her mouth and say something stupid. He'd never had the pleasure of being near her when she was intoxicated and the thought made him nervous in more ways than one. "I'm going to take her upstairs. She shouldn't be down here anyway." He was doing his best to make Rory out to be underage and off limits. He just hoped she'd play along.

"But Jess," she whined. "I don't wanna go upstairs now." She'd grabbed his hand and he wondered if she knew what it did to him. "Let's stay and…party," she leaned in closer to him unintentionally, indicating that her balance wasn't quite in tact; a result from her alcohol consumption.

"Since when do you party?" he asked her, trying to find an argument to get her to listen to him.

"Since I wanted to be more like you," she told him, poking his nose on the last syllable and grinning wildly. But the action caused her to lean too far forward and she stumbled, some of her drink sloshing out of her cup and onto the floor before Jess grabbed hold of her arms to steady her.

"You're drunk," he told her blatantly.

She giggled a little bit. "So this is what it feels like."

"Come on," he groaned, taking the cup from her and placing it on the island. "We're taking you upstairs." Without waiting for her response, he picked her up over his shoulder and made his way to the stairs, trusting himself to be sober enough to walk them without falling.

"Put me down!" she scolded him.

"As you wish," he said. Not being able to help himself, he dipped his shoulder and let her fall. He wasn't a complete dick, though. He made sure the bed would catch her and keep her from hurting herself.

"Was that really necessary?" She'd landed on her stomach, but her hair was in her face when she spoke. With a sloppy shake of her head, it fell back into place along her back.

"You told me to put you down," he said with his infamous smirk, giving her a hard time and trying to teach her to be careful with her choice of words (especially when she was drunk).

"Hmph," she pouted, crawling up to the pillows and laying her head down. She rolled so she was on her back and Jess carefully sat down on the edge of the bed near her hip.

"Alright, you party animal," he told her, his voice calm and smooth. "Time for bed." He moved to the foot of the bed and slid off her shoes before he took the comforter and brought it up to cover her. Once again, she reminded him of a small child. But if that were entirely true than he wouldn't be having the thoughts he was about her.

He heard her yawn and he sat back down where he had previously resided, readying himself to coax her into peaceful slumber.

But she sat up suddenly and rested her back against the headboard, staring at him curiously.

"What?"

She wasn't thinking rationally. She knew she wasn't, but that didn't stop her from opening her mouth and uttering the words she knew should've stayed lodged in the back of her throat. She was naturally curious, but when she was fully sober she'd always been conscious enough to keep that curiosity at bay. But with him being so close and the alcohol encouraging her, she couldn't help but ask.

"How old were you?"

"What," he asked her again, trying to figure out where she was going with this.

"When you first had sex?"

Jess was completely stunned to hear her say those words. This wasn't a conversation he'd ever planned on having with Rory, least of all a drunk Rory.

"Too young. Come on. Lay down." He leaned in closer to her and put his hand on her shoulder, applying slight pressure to make sure realize she had to adhere to his request.

And she did willingly. But now he was leaning over her and she saw his jaw clench. She took notice of his arms on either side of her and couldn't help but imagine them around her, the toned muscles contracting handsomely. With the alcohol clouding her judgment, she leaned up and captured his lips with her own fiercely in the heat of the moment.

Jess was once again awestricken by her actions. His entire body went rigid and he froze up, uncertain about what to do. Should he kiss her back? Should he break away from her? Should he just take her right there? His mind was telling him to back off and not get into anything he wouldn't be able to get himself out of. But his body was telling him an entirely different story.


	10. With Intent To Start A Fire

**A/N:** So this chapter is a bit short. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to get anything written by tomorrow seeing as that I'll be packing all day and all of your responses just made me want to get this out quicker to quench your curiosity. I'm hoping this chapter doesn't disappoint, but I think I might need to change the rating on this story. I'm not sure if this is still in the 'Teen' level but I figured for now it'd be okay to keep it that way.

This will be the last chapter until I get back from vacation. However, I'll try to write a few chapters up there but I'm not making any promises. I've got a few ideas for possible oneshots as well (as I mentioned before).

Thank you again for all of your wonderful replies to this story. You guys really have been great :]

**Disclaimer:** See previous chapters

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_Should he kiss her back? Should he break away from her? Should he just take her right there? His mind was telling him to back off and not get into anything he wouldn't be able to get himself out of. But his body was telling him an entirely different story._

His stiff body eased up, the tension depleting from his muscles. He knew everything about this situation was dishonorable, unethical, and immoral., but Jess was the poster boy for every single one of those aspects, twisting them and merging them to fit into his daily lifestyle of cruel intentions and false sensations. And when her hands inched slowly up his chest, they ignited tiny sparks under his skin, creating a fire he wasn't sure he'd be able tame.

And with the growing flames burning at any rational thought, smoldering them until they became unintelligible, he responded to her advances and blurred the line between right and wrong.

He kissed her hard on the mouth, but Rory couldn't help but notice how soft his lips were. He maneuvered himself into a comfortable position, careful not to put too much of his body weight on top of her. The springs under the mattress groaned in reply, but went unheard by the two lust driven teenagers.

With a slight flick of his tongue, her lips parted and they greedily explored each others mouths. It was like an out of body experience for Rory; she could see this all unfolding in front of her, all the consequences it would entail but she was powerless to stop it. She wasn't sure she entirely wanted to. One of his hands made its way to her hip while the other supported him and all she could manage to think about was the pleasurable heat that radiated off of his calloused fingers in comparison to her cold alabaster skin.

He detached his face from hers and trailed small kisses across her cheek, down her jaw line, and to her neck. The flames brimming beneath his surface roared to life when he heard the smallest of moans escape her lips as he hit a sensitive spot right behind her ear. His hands began to roam the terrain of her body, mapping out the fragile territory she kept concealed by layers of clothes he wished she'd shed more often. He ran his hands up the side of her stomach reaching the middle of her ribcage and stopping when his thumb hit the bottom of her bra.

He moved his lips back to hers once more, indicating that he hadn't tasted enough of her yet. Her hands reached around his back, delicately clawing at the tense muscles she felt there. This triggered a slight response from him as he began kneading small circles with his thumb at the base of her chest. She arched her back in a moment of desire, connecting her hips with his. With the contact of her heat brushing up against his own for that brief encounter, the flames began to grow dangerously close to untamable.

His willpower to stop this interaction was fading fast but he had faith that if things got too heated he would be able to dissipate the growing fire with ease. However, faith was something he seldom believed in anymore. Praying to a God he didn't believe in wouldn't suffice at this point. But even God didn't have the resolve to tear Jess away from Rory's slender form.

That thought had yet to register in my mind though. Fueled by a sickening want for her skin against his, his hands wandered to the hem of her shirt and slowly tugged it upwards so it bunched at the bottom of her chest, never revealing the bra underneath. He massaged her sides as he dipped his head lower, placing light airy kisses down the center of her stomach. Her back arched again involuntarily at the feel of his lips on her skin.

He neared her waistline and she brought her hand to his face, begging him to kiss her once more. He complied without hesitation and tangled his tongue with hers in a heated dispute between want and need.

Needing a change of pace, he rolled them over so she straddled his hips. He kept his hands on her thighs as she leaned forward to kiss him harsher than she had earlier. Shocked that she'd exert that much pressure, a low rumble built up at the back of his throat. And when her body skimmed against his lap, the growl escaped his lips followed by a small hiss as the pleasure built up. Realizing that she was now in control, he flipped them back over, not liking the hold she had on him

And once again, their hands danced across each others bodies, trying to memorize the feel of olive against porcelain. With his mouth attached to her neck, Jess trailed his hand down her stomach until he reached the waistline of her jeans. He skimmed the tips of his fingers underneath the fabric, gauging her reaction. When all he heard was a sigh of satisfaction, he inched his hand lower between denim and cotton.

"Jess," she drawled out breathlessly, opening her legs a little bit wider.

All it took was that simple syllable to snap his mind back to reality. Rory's voice brought him back from the realm of pleasure and possibility with a harsh realization that things had just reached new heights between the two. Disastrous, frightening heights that were never supposed to be climbed to.

He pulled back quickly and retracted his hand, falling next to her on his back. He stared at the ceiling for a few seconds, trying to weigh out the mornings consequences. Rory just lay there, completely confused. She wasn't sure why he'd halted their sexual endeavors and, frankly, she was a bit hurt.

"I'm sorry," she heard Jess whisper beside her. "I'm so sorry." His voice was quiet and rough as he tried to collect his thoughts; attempting to focus on anything other than the fact that he'd almost crossed a very dangerous line with Rory; a line they couldn't retreat from. He'd taken advantage of her in her intoxicated state and he almost hadn't been able to stop himself from taking things even further.

"Jess…" she murmured, sobering a bit once she, too, realized what had just taken place. "Oh, God." She brought her hands up and buried her face in them, stunned.

"Rory, I-" he stammered, still unable to look at her, finding the patterns on the ceiling to be deeply enthralling. "I don't-"

They were both speechless, their breath coming in short gasps as they tried to calm their rapidly beating hearts.

Within seconds, Rory's eyes were brimming with tears at the recognition that Dean had been right. She'd wanted Jess all along and while she'd tried to deny it, doing so just put her in a more compromising position. She wasn't upset that Jess had taken things as far as he did. She was more terrified of the fact that she'd wanted him to take it a step further. She slowly let the silent sobs wrack her small frame, comforted by the privacy that darkness provided.

But her attempts to hide her grief from Jess were futile. Even in the dark, he could sense her shaking form beside him. Not caring if it was at all too inappropriate for their current standings, he rolled onto his side and pulled her to his chest firmly. "Sh," he whispered soothingly. He tucked her head under his chin and ran his fingers through her hair. She relaxed into his chest, grateful for the warm embrace. "I'm sorry," he repeated again, unsure of how many times he'd have to say it to make things okay again.

No tears came; just dry, quiet sobs of disappointed guilt.

The flames that had been encouraging him before had died down, erasing all the embers of craving and the sparks of greed.

"You said this would help. You said this would fix me," she snarled, crueler than she'd intended. Her naiveté had proven her to be childish in believing he'd ever said an honest thing in his life. The alcohol consumption was intended to ease her mind and now it just tormented her with thoughts she didn't want to think. But even in her madness, she still couldn't bring herself to let him go; to resist his gentle hold on her.

He'd been soft and delicate in handling her those moments before; something she hadn't experienced before.

"I know," Jess choked out, doing his best to stay stoic throughout their confrontation. "I know."

"You lied to me." And this time when the sob sent a tremor through her body, it brought up tears as well. She felt him tighten his grip around her and heard his breath hitch in his throat. She was causing him pain. She reveled in it; in the feeling of transferring what she felt into someone else so she wouldn't have to harbor all of it by herself.

But all Jess could do was repeat the same phrases over and over. "I know. I'm sorry." It was all he could give her at the moment. He wanted to fix everything; to mend the tiny pieces of their fabricated reality back together until it looked as good as new. But the pieces were too small for his rough hands and they slipped through his fingers, creating a pile of shattered innocence at his feet.


End file.
